By Franklin Delgado
A new study reveals that the use of social networks does not strengthen friendships, according to Dr. Brian Primack of Oregon State University and its lead author. Despite high connectivity on platforms such as TikTok and instagrammany users feel more alone, he says.
A survey of more than 1,500 Americans indicated that those who have more contacts online, but not in person, experience an increase in loneliness. 50% of American adults identify with this problem, considered an epidemic by the 2023 Total Surgeon report.
Social isolation is as harmful to health as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, according to the report.
Off-screen friendships
Research suggests that in-person friendships are key to reducing loneliness. Experts like Melissa Greenberg, interviewed by cnnadvise getting involved in community activities that facilitate the establishment of real connections.
Various strategies are proposed to cultivate friendships, such as joining book clubs, art classes, or volunteer activities. Direct contact and deep conversations are essential to developing meaningful relationships.
“People tend to make friends with people who have similar interests, so starting with something that interests you is probably a good starting point,” Greenberg said.
Conscious use of social networks
Although using social media can be harmful, maintaining contact with loved ones through messages can be beneficial. An active rather than passive approach is recommended on these platforms to avoid harmful social comparisons.
The key to combating loneliness lies in prioritizing in-person interactions, especially during the summer months, which are conducive to socializing.
In this regard, the American Psychological Association (APA) itself leaves us some recommendations for the proper use of social networks.
Improve conversation skills
People can improve their deep conversation skills by practicing active listening, asking good open-ended questions, and showing some vulnerability of their own.
Really listen, not just wait your turn
- Pay full attention, without thinking about your next response, and capture emotions and nuances of the other.
- Use non-verbal cues (nodding, eye contact) and summarize or clarifying questions to confirm understanding.
Ask questions that invite reflection
- Use open questions with “why?”, “how did you feel?” or “since when…?” instead of binary (“yes/no”).
- Choose topics that matter to the person (values, goals, key experiences) instead of focusing on superficial facts.
Show vulnerability and create a safe climate
- First share something genuine about yourself (a fear, a doubt, a deep joy) to set the tone of sincerity.
- Respect the other’s limits: not everyone wants depth, and it is important to accept when the person remains lighter.
Practice tolerance of silence
- Learn not to fill every pause; Allowing the other person to take time to reflect improves the quality of what they say.
- Use those silences to rephrase what you heard or deepen what has already been shared, instead of changing the subject.
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